Following your OWN WILL instead of following GOD’S WILL can bring you in miserable circumstances, and is absolutely not a wise thing to do.
These miserable circumstances are not what God has in mind for you, but IT IS WHAT YOU ARE CHOOSING by rejecting Him, and following your own ideas.
In the beginning it may, for a while, look as if this is a nice way to go, but in the end it will lead you STRAIGHT TO HELL.
For transgressing against the will of God, will cause you to lose God’s blessings, and may cause God, to GIVE YOU UP TO UNCLEANNESS through the LUSTS of your heart.
So REPENT, and FOLLOW JESUS while you still have time to change your ways.
Read per example what the Bible teaches us in Romans 1:23-32:
(23) (They) changed the glory of the uncorruptible God INTO AN IMAGE made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things. (24) Wherefore GOD also GAVE THEM UP TO UNCLEANNESS through the LUSTS of their own hearts, to DISHONOUR their OWN BODIES between themselves: (25) Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever.
(26) For this cause God gave them up unto VILE AFFECTIONS: for even their WOMEN did change the natural use into that which is against nature: (27) And likewise also the MEN, leaving the natural use of the woman, BURNED IN THEIR LUST one toward another; MEN WITH MEN working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that RECOMPENCE OF THEIR ERROR which was meet.
(28) And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, GOD GAVE THEM OVER TO A REPROBATE MIND, TO DO THOSE THINGS which are not convenient.
(29) Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, (30) Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, (31) Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: (32) Who knowing the JUDGMENT OF GOD, that they which commit such things are WORTHY OF DEATH, not only do the same, but HAVE PLEASURE IN THEM THAT DO THEM.